Blame the schools – they program us to hate ourselves when we fail.
Failure, in fact, is the best learning instrument out there. However, instead of encouraging those who suffer from it, schools label them as obnoxious and loathsome. As a result of being someone whose former years were spent in a place where failure is a sin, here I am, a slave of the fear caused by failure.
Talking about schools, let’s not forget about scores. Our brains are wired to earn the noblest score. We tried our best, yet shit happens, and teachers unknowingly aggravate the problem. I have never heard a teacher once said, “Oh dear, you got an F. This is so amusing. Let us look at your mistakes so we can work them out..”, instead, they threw ‘disappointment and dejection’ explosives and hoped the blast would make us felt more miserable.
They didn’t tell us that failure plays a notable role in the learning process, instead, they told us their regret and distress that we had let them down. They told us that we deserved the F because we were lazy or stupid. Don’t blame yourself for being stupid – stupidity is an inborn deficiency.
People generally hate this, as they realize they failed unpleasantly, they rapidly backed off and placed themselves in a position where they never have to fail anymore, or where there are less chances of failing. They find jobs which are less challenging – hence, giving most of them less experience of failure, therefore, less chance of learning.
Some of these friends of mine have been struggling at certain subjects for years, they didn’t fail, yet today they claim themselves “___ is just not for me” or “___ and I are not meant for each other”, say Math, or Physics. That statement hinders them from failing and learning, or even worse, trying.
If newborns settled after numerous failures – “Talking is just not for me” or “Walking and I are not meant for each other”, we would all be fucked.